Micala Musings: My Thoughts on Life 5 Years Ago

life

I was recently skimming through my Facebook page and found an old Facebook ‘Note’ I posted back on April 12, 2011. It’s a poem I wrote titled ‘Life‘ and apparently the ‘hardships’ I was going through as a 20 year old in an emotionally abused relationship. I’d like to share this poem on my blog because it’s so well written, and I know many people may be able to relate to it. I know there are times when we may feel alone, disrespected, and feel like everything (and everyone) is against us. Life is meant to be hard, so you must be strong!

I was going through such an emotional time in my life and being able to release everything I was possibly feeling by writing this poem helped me move forward. Writing always provided me with a way out. I also remember I would go to the bar almost every night…not to drink (well a little lol), but to dance. Dancing helped me let loose and forget about any problems I was facing. I was aware these didn’t necessarily solve the problems, but they did allow me to temporarily forget my situation without being involved with horrible things like drugs, smoking, or getting completely wasted.

It’s crazy to think how much of a better place I’m in these days, and how things really do get better. I know many people go through things 100% worse, and I feel this poem would be relatable either or.

I didn’t write this poem so people could ‘feel sorry’ for me or for attention. I’m actually a pretty private person, but at that time the only way I could relieve my sorrow was by writing a poem. I knew others may be able to relate which is why I posted it on Facebook. This poem has such a strong meaning about life and it honestly made me think deep in thought. I decided to add a new category to modelvale, Micala Musings, in which I will be writing about certain topics that encourage me to vitalize and interpret different situations.

 

April 12, 2011

Life

Written by Micala Valles

I may seem happy, with a smile on my face, seeing life as a nice big chase.
Unfortunately, deep down, I have a dark frown.
I’m sad…mad, confused, and emotionally abused.
One’s who “love” me haven’t got my back,
Going against me and throwing me in a sack.
People talk, lie, and assume…when there is no room.
This life needs real life, with butterflies and people wise.
I haven’t found my own true place, but this isn’t the one true case.
I’m left alone, to let my thoughts roam, around and around..
In my head I hear the sound,
thoughts revoking my only chance, to live this life grand.
Myself is one to trust, to have lust, and to believe.
If not, I will grieve;
Depending on another is intolerable and unforgivable,
And hides all my sorrows underneath the table.
Not being listented to, and not being taken serious, makes me delirious;
If we want this life to work, we can’t let our emotions lurk.
The only thing we can do is value opinions and recognize,
And between these ties,
Intertwines our lives; resembling an individual stabbed by knives.
Beneath this distressed judgement, I’m a nice bow tie of lace…
Because I really am happy, with a smile on my face;
Life is just a nice big chase.

 

My dads response to this was:

Ya, be strong! Don’t forget ur bloodline: VALLES!!!!!!

 

Which is true, because both my parents have been through a lot (like growing up with nothing to becoming something), so I know I will be able to achieve any hardships.

 

My uncles response to my poem was also very inspiring:

 

Always look at the bright side: there is always hope. Never be trapped. We make our own destiny at times but sometimes it is already written. Just hold on tight because life is a winding road but it will always lead you to your own path. Just pray …Love you always, Uncle Del

 

I absolutely love that! It’s crazy how a few words can feel so encouraging and enlightening. I hope this post can influence someone out there to be a better person, live life to the fullest, and never give up. When you’re feeling low, be grateful for what you have. Thousands of people have it even worse. Even if you don’t feel happy at a certain point in your life, always know that deep down you are happy, because you’re grateful for what you have: life. The feeling of being alone is unfortunate, but know there is always someone there. If anyone ever wants to talk, know that I’m here!

🙂

 

 

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